22 & 23 August, 2022
VOCO Singapore
9AM – 5PM
S$ 1895 NETT
Based Entirely On The International Best Selling Book
This course is about the two Cs: change and choices. Conflict is inevitable. Anger, blame, grudges are not. Conflict is normal and occurs in every arena of life. We can’t avoid conflict, but the way we deal with it will determine whether it is a destructive or constructive force.
Learn the myriad of tools that will give you the power and choice to opening the lines of communication, boosting morale and fostering teamwork in conflict situations to navigate a productive outcome and maintain relationships
In 2 Days You Will;
Understand the strategic importance of building coalitions and maintaining r-e-s-p-e-c-t in a conflict.
Increase awareness of how our attitude toward conflict impacts how we do conflict.
Identify ways to approach a relationship problem and the targets for change.
Suggest behavioral modification principles that can be employed with difficult people.
How women’s conflict mantra, “Harmony is normal and conflict is abnormal,” impacts conflict outcomes.
How men’s conflict mantra, “Winning at any costs is the name of the game,” impacts conflict outcomes.
Identify communication strategies to manage conflict: I versus You, anticipation, self-interest, meta-talk, limit setting and the importance of consequences.
Analyze the appropriate use of five conflict styles: competition, compromise, collaboration, accommodation and avoidance.
Suggest the power of a positive “no” with the yes-no-yes strategy to maintain relationships in a conflict.
Identify critical ground rules for managing a conflict.
Day 1 Training Agenda
Day 1
MORNING
Jumping Straight Into your learning process
Most Overlooked Possibility in Conflict-Building a Coalition
Class exercise in small groups.
A wise Zen master who, in the course of giving a class to a group of students, puts one of them in a quandary. As the student is lifting a cup of tea to his lips, the master says: If you drink that cup of tea, I will beat you with this stick. And if you don’t drink from that cup, I will beat you with this stick. What would you do if you were that student
We see only the student and master when we imagine the scene. A coalition can level the playing field. “Help me, friends!” Who shares my interests or might be persuaded to work with me to make sure my needs are respected? Who could be my allies in this situation?
R-E-S-P-E-C-T The Case of the NYC negotiator
William Ury, a world-renowned negotiator, mediator, and best-selling author, suggests beginning with self-respect. Respect for the other flows directly from self-respect. You consider others not so much because of who they are but because of who you are. How do people communicate disrespect: Don’t Do This! List 2 examples of disrespectful communication:
10 Ways Your Attitude Toward Conflict Impacts How You Do Conflict
True or False?
1. If people communicated more, there would be less conflict.
2. People usually shouldn’t discuss issues that are important to them when they’re upset.
3. I have more conflict than most people around me.
4. I like to get potential conflict out on the table as soon as I know the problem.
5. Men and women tend to approach conflicts differently.
6. Somebody always loses in conflicts.
7. A person’s “style” can create more conflict than the conflict itself.
8. The goal of a conflict should be understanding.
9. I believe some conflicts do go away.
10. Often, the same conflict recurs.
Conflict Reaction Profile: Record your reaction to the following statements.
Read each item carefully and place a number from the answer scale next to each statement. 1 – Seldom 2 – Sometimes 3 – Most of the time
1. _____ I can be swayed to someone else’s point of view.
2. _____ I shut down people who I disagree with.
3. _____I address the issue at hand diplomatically and do not attack the individual.
4. _____I think that others try to “bully” their way with me.
5. _____I express my thoughts and beliefs tactfully when they differ from those just expressed.
6. _____ Rather than offer my opinion when I disagree with someone, I keep it to myself.
7. _____ I listen to other people’s points of view with an open mind.
8. _____ I let my emotions get the best of me.
9. _____ I raise my voice to make my point.
10. _____ I tend to belittle other people when making my point.
11. _____ I look for ways to negotiate and compromise with others.
12. _____ I have been told I am too pushy.
13. _____ I make sure I have my opinion heard in any controversy.
14. _____I think the conflict in meetings is necessary.
15. _____ I am the most vocal in meetings when trying to get my point across.
Day 2 Training Agenda
Day 2
MORNING
Principles of Behavior Behavior that is reinforced is most likely to be:
The strongest type of reinforcement is:
If you ignore behavior that has been used repeatedly in the past, it will initially: before:
If a behavior is followed by a consequence the person doesn’t want, it will begin to:
Doing: ______________ is doing: The “Buster” phenomenon.
Characteristics of an Autocratic Dictator
They: Stay in control by putting others down.
Rule from a command post.
Are quick to anger and are often unpredictable.
They don’t like ambiguity or change they did not initiate.
Are unwilling to entertain thoughts that conflict with their ideas.
The messages they send:
Give in to me, and you won’t get my fury. Let me have my way, or I’ll embarrass or humiliate you.
Defer decisions to me, and I’ll pretend I like you.
Don’t ask me how to do something unless you want to be criticized.
Don’t arouse me; I’m a sleeping dog… I’ll attack!
Resolving Conflict
DO I WANT TO RESOLVE THE CONFLICT?
Becoming willing to fix the problem.
CAN I SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE, NOT JUST MY POINT OF VIEW?
Broaden your outlook.
WHAT ARE THE NEEDS AND ANXIETIES OF EVERYONE INVOLVED?
Learning to write them down.
HOW CAN WE MAKE THIS FAIR?
Learning to Negotiate.
WHAT ARE THE POSSIBILITIES?
Think up as many solutions as you can. Pick the one that gives everyone more of what they want.
CAN WE WORK IT OUT TOGETHER?
Treat each other as equals.
WHAT AM I FEELING?
Am I too emotional? Could I – get more facts, take time to calm down, tell them how I feel?
WHAT DO I WANT TO CHANGE?
Be clear. Attack the problem, not the person.
WHAT OPPORTUNITY CAN THIS BRING?
Work on the positives, not the negatives.
WHAT IS IT LIKE TO BE IN THEIR SHOES?
Do they know I understand them?
DO WE NEED A NEUTRAL THIRD PERSON?
Could this help us to understand each other and create our solutions?
HOW CAN WE BOTH WIN?
Work towards solutions where everyone’s needs are respected R
Wrap Up: What participants gained from the class.
Your Engagement Facilitator
Audrey Nielsen
Based out of Boulder Colorado, Audrey Nelson, PhD., is an international trainer, key-note speaker; author and consultant who helps organizations increase their productivity and profitability through winning communication strategies. She specializes in gender communication, unconscious bias, inclusion, conflict management, generational and interpersonal communication skills.
Audrey is a published author. Her first book, You Don’t Say: Navigating Nonverbal Communication between the Sexes (Prentice Hall) was published in six languages. She also co-authored Code Switching: How to Talk so Men will Listen (Penguin Books) and TheGender Communication Handbook: Conquering Conversational Collisions Between Men and Women (Pfeiffer). Audrey is the communication blogger for Psychology Today and the co-chair of Mile High Society of Human Resource Management Interpersonal PDG: Relationship Management, Global & Cultural Effectiveness, Communication.
Deborah holds a BA in Psychology from University of Michigan, and an MSW from Columbia University.
She combines her background in cognitive and social psychology, leadership coaching, presentation skills, appreciative inquiry, and, perhaps most importantly, improvisational and stand-up comedy, to help leaders and teams think on their feet and make thoughtful decisions about their impact.